“We are all alone, born alone, die alone, and -- in spite of True Romance magazines -- we shall all someday look back on our lives and see that, in spite of our company, we were alone the whole way. I do not say lonely -- at least, not all the time -- but essentially, and finally, alone. This is what makes your self-respect so important, and I don't see how you can respect yourself if you must look in the hearts and minds of others for your happiness.” --Hunter S. Thompson
I do enjoy being acutely aware of my emotions, but I also like to have the liberty to dissolve pesky thoughts in a neat glass of bourbon if I so choose. I feel everything all the time. Ecstasy. Bliss. Reservation. Hope and sadness. And loneliness. Always from the root, loneliness emerges. I believe the plague of our time is the lack of daring and stable communities in which the terrible disease of loneliness can be cured. Loneliness drives millions to self-medication, meaningless sex, ridiculously high bar tabs, and even suicide. The great and troubled minds of our time--Hunter S. Thompson, Robin Williams Sylvia Path, Neil Cassady, and the like--were so much rapt in their own inner turmoil that no one, except maybe an occasional lover, could access the deepest parts of them. Loneliness is usually perpetuated by feelings of fear... fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of vulnerability, fear of inadequacy. Self-judgement severs our chance to be two things: present in our wholeness, content with who we are when not with the other and also our relationship to the other.
Self-judgement is an unnecessary war. How much personal revenue (time and energy) do you invest in heavy ammunition against an imaginary enemy? In the trenches of becoming, the front lines of self-discovery and belly-up to the bar, lies a warrior in hiding. Strategy, tenacity, resilience, and self-acceptance. These are the traits of a fighter. Guard your heart, but remain open. Fear nothing. Watch out for shrapnel, and lice and rats--those unwanted vermin thoughts spreading unwanted dis-ease. Develop a treaty for peaceful disarmament and fortify your heart. You are wonderful company, and your whole world awaits.