In the cold, winter months ALWAYS ALWAYS have wood on hand. Chopping wood is one of the best feelings in the world. I'd advise chopping on or near your moon cycle. It's a good way to let frustrations go.
Okay, here it goes. First, let me advise you... if the man of of the house is present', always consider letting him light the fire--it's something they like to do. If you feel the need to burn however, speak your mind adamantly. "I'm lighting the fire, dude!" And now, here are the steps.
1. Start simmering clove and cinnamon sticks in about two cups of water on your stove. Remember, simmer! Not full blast boil.
2. Find all those pesky weekly ads for groceries you'll never buy anyway. You might have to check your recycling bin for last week's. If you can't find newspaper, burn your kids' notes home from school. They make an excellent substitution. If that isn't available... just find some damn paper. Loosely scrunch them up and place them in the middle of the stove.
3. Fall in love with a carpenter. He has wood. Lots of dry, quick burning wood scraps. If this isn't feasible, and I've resorted to this myself, you're going to need to split some kindling. You can use an axe for this, or you can go out woodland creature style and gather dry twigs from the ground. I've done both. You just need slivers of wood to catch fire quickly. Make a 'teepee' formation around your loosely crumbled newspaper.
4. Check your flu. Is it open? Good. Okay, now go check your clove and cinnamon concoction. It's probably done. Pour the hot goodness into a mug and add bourbon, honey, and lemon. Take a sip. Take a breath.
5. Find your favorite lighter, and begin lighting the newspaper in several areas. The kindling should catch fire quickly. Start adding small chunks of wood carefully one at a time. Woman make fire. You are powerful beyond measure.
6. When you've got the fire blazing, add a big, huge chunk of wood, sip your tottie and do whatever it is your heart desires.