"The spiritualization of sensuality is called LOVE." Friedrich Nietzsche
I could only think of pineapple. I was deep in my dance, sweating my prayers and moving love up the spirit channels of my being--body tingling, love for the World, and eyes to God.
It has been a wild week of processing and becoming. As the waning moon turns to crescent, faithfully to become the New Moon shadow, my whole being is doing the opposite. I stand in full illumination--the light of my own Being and the light of Love. I brought this to the dance floor this morning. Dancing is my ritual, the dance floor a place for alchemy. All this love and light and magic and movement makes perfect sense to me. I have no sort of trouble uncovering it, integrating it, or knowing its potency. I know love. While communing with this Divine idea through awareness of body and sacred silence, my monkey mind began to wander. Not only did it wander, it began to yell mean things. It lost track of the rhythm and fell from exaltation. It began to remind me of the things I have been carrying around for decades. My Shadow Self was personified in thought.
"Your thighs are big."
"Your belly is unbecoming."
"You better not eat today."
"I'll never be beautiful like she is."
"I want pineapple!"
Pineapple? Odd timing for an intense craving. The moment my mind found pineapple, the mean words seemed to dissipate. I invited the reprieve, and I focused on the rhythm, the heartbeat, the sweat. I returned to body. My teal-painted toenails began to desire pineapple. My shins, knees, thighs craved luscious, juicy pineapple. My belly grumbled, my mouth watered for this exquisite fruit. Because of pineapple, I began to realize the sentience of sensuality. I danced through this. This body craving pineapple is the same body who delights in the Love of the Oneness of all beings. This is my body. This is my love. And this pineapple is damn tasty.